"Rejoice always,
pray continually,
give thanks in all circumstances,
for this God's will for you
in Christ Jesus.
Do not quench the Spirit."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-19
Hey guys!! I hope you all are doing amazingggg! I am soooo happy, because today, I actually have THREE exciting things to share with you guys. Number 1 : I will be posting weekly now! Every Saturday at 10am, there will be a new blog post. Whenever people asked me why I don't write more, I'd always tell them that I don't have any time to spare, and I still don't haha! But I am continually pushing my limits, and if time is one of them, I will find more. Number 2 : I have a twitter now! She is a work in progress... I have literally zero followers haha. My twitter account is a lot different from my other "New kind of Living" stuff. My plan with it right now is to use it as a way of "documenting" my own little bucket list for each season. I am trying to enjoy life to the fullest. By planning things for each season, I feel like I am able to enjoy each one to its full potential. Sounds corny... I know. Right now, New kind of Living is all about experimentation, and learning to love life a little harder. So, definitely follow me on there @newkindofliving to not miss out on the things I consider bucket list worthy lol.
(I could not think of a better way to start this blog off than with this picture of Bo "screaming".)
Alright, that was a longggg intro! Let's start talking about today's topic. I consider myself a positive person, but I also consider myself the "queen of holding an umbrella over my head on sunny days". So, what am I? The simple answer is... I am both. Since the age of four, my days have been spent trying to get through them with my mind nagging at me about something.
I have been doing a lot more research on anxiety, and listening to other people's stories. (For the one big project, I have not talked about yet, and also to learn more for my blogs.) It is very easy for me to listen to people talk about how they only had anxiety for two years and conquered it or people who have only just recently started showing symptoms... and think to myself, "I have had it all my life... Why is mine not going away?" However, I do not. I sit there with goosebumps all over my arms, and listen to their stories of how they completely got rid of it. I listen to people who have just recently started showing symptoms, and I feel bad for them. I know how hard it is. I have been there. I am not saying this to seem like an amazing, perfect person. I am saying it to show that pitying myself constantly would do more harm than good, and I would not be able to help anyone. I would be giving up a perfect opportunity to care for those around me, and talk about how good God is when it comes to dealing with any mental illness / hardship .
There are a lot of people who freak out when they are labelled with anxiety. They think it's this awful lifelong illness that will keep them from enjoying life. No one wants anxiety, but a HUGE percentage of the American population suffers from it. I have talked to many people who think anxiety is the worst possible thing to have. I will agree all day that it is not fun. But I can't agree with it being the worst thing. If I were to agree with them 100%, I would also be agreeing that my whole life has been the worst life to have. Most people are diagnosed / show symptoms when they older, and so, they know what it is like to feel "normal". Since I have had anxiety since the age of four, I don't know any different, and for that, I am thankful.
("Anxiety I will transform you into something useful and productive. I will not bow down to you." Jaeda Dewalt ... This is the view I get to see every single day on my way to work. There is a lot of things that make me thankful for my job, but I am reminded daily of this specific little blessing... a view that's pretty even on the most cloudy days. [I was driving incredibly slow. There was no one around except a van up ahead of me. I took this pic in less than 30 seconds. I don't ever recommend or encourage anyone to use their phone at all while driving. So, do NOT do what I did lol. Stay safe on the roads, friends!])
In eighth grade (my last year of being homeschooled and my hardest year ever), I refused to leave my house and even my room for three MONTHS. I lost fifteen pounds despite being already very underweight. A lot of that time is a blur. I did schoolwork as quickly as I could, and then, I would lay in bed. There are three times I remember the most. One time, my dad told me I had to leave my room to watch a movie in the living room with my family. I freaked out and cried a lot. The second one is my family wanted to go eat pizza at a park. I cried getting into the car, and yelled at my parents for making me go. The third time my parents took my whole family to see a movie at the theater. I spent most of the movie sitting right outside on one of the benches, and scared out of my mind for no reason. I remember my dad walking in and out of the theater trying to talk to me, and help me. I was to freaked out to be helped.
After that, I said to myself, "Okay, we cannot get to that LOW of a point again." It is important for you to see my low points. ("addressing my mental illness" has more stories from my childhood.) I need to show you that my anxiety was not a piece of cake. It was not just school that freaked me out. I cried going to friends' houses, Sunday school, and at one point, I even cried going to the movie theater with my family. So, you see why I cannot agree with people who act as if anxiety is the world's biggest curse? I have story after story of anxiety making my life hard, but if I agree with what people say, I would be saying a whole lot about the way I look at my life.
Anxiety is very, very hard to deal with at times. Yes. However, there are far worse things to deal with. Anxiety comes with many blessings. When I make baby steps, I am extremely proud of myself. When I look back on my life, I don't always see myself crying and holding on to my mom. I see myself laughing. I see myself having fun, and all the friends I had through the years. If you ask me about my anxiety, I will tell you my little summary, add that I am thankful for it, and then tell you how I believe that it has helped me talk about God / help others. I have had that exact conversation with many people, and every time, I say I am thankful I mean it more and more. Because once again, I was given the chance to tell someone that anxiety is not the worst thing in the world. And I got the chance to talk about how God has gotten me through each day... the good, the bad, and the ugly ones.
It is all about mindset. I have extremely hard days. I have not so good days. But you know what?? It makes me enjoy my good days just a little bit more. My days are constantly going up and down. If you read my daily journal, I would not blame you if you laughed. One day, I am all excited and happy to just be breathing, and the next, I am like "ughhh, why me?" If you struggle with a mental illness or anything similar, you are given an option. You can decide if it defines you, or you can decide if it is a part of you. Everyone deals with something. You can boo hoo all day, or you can learn to just live life with a few bumps in the road.
Last but not least... you ALL are soooo loved and appreciated! <3 <3 Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Also, please keep praying for my grandmother (heart failure + other health complications) and my cousin (recovery from a brain tumor removal).
I have been doing a lot more research on anxiety, and listening to other people's stories. (For the one big project, I have not talked about yet, and also to learn more for my blogs.) It is very easy for me to listen to people talk about how they only had anxiety for two years and conquered it or people who have only just recently started showing symptoms... and think to myself, "I have had it all my life... Why is mine not going away?" However, I do not. I sit there with goosebumps all over my arms, and listen to their stories of how they completely got rid of it. I listen to people who have just recently started showing symptoms, and I feel bad for them. I know how hard it is. I have been there. I am not saying this to seem like an amazing, perfect person. I am saying it to show that pitying myself constantly would do more harm than good, and I would not be able to help anyone. I would be giving up a perfect opportunity to care for those around me, and talk about how good God is when it comes to dealing with any mental illness / hardship .
There are a lot of people who freak out when they are labelled with anxiety. They think it's this awful lifelong illness that will keep them from enjoying life. No one wants anxiety, but a HUGE percentage of the American population suffers from it. I have talked to many people who think anxiety is the worst possible thing to have. I will agree all day that it is not fun. But I can't agree with it being the worst thing. If I were to agree with them 100%, I would also be agreeing that my whole life has been the worst life to have. Most people are diagnosed / show symptoms when they older, and so, they know what it is like to feel "normal". Since I have had anxiety since the age of four, I don't know any different, and for that, I am thankful.
In eighth grade (my last year of being homeschooled and my hardest year ever), I refused to leave my house and even my room for three MONTHS. I lost fifteen pounds despite being already very underweight. A lot of that time is a blur. I did schoolwork as quickly as I could, and then, I would lay in bed. There are three times I remember the most. One time, my dad told me I had to leave my room to watch a movie in the living room with my family. I freaked out and cried a lot. The second one is my family wanted to go eat pizza at a park. I cried getting into the car, and yelled at my parents for making me go. The third time my parents took my whole family to see a movie at the theater. I spent most of the movie sitting right outside on one of the benches, and scared out of my mind for no reason. I remember my dad walking in and out of the theater trying to talk to me, and help me. I was to freaked out to be helped.
After that, I said to myself, "Okay, we cannot get to that LOW of a point again." It is important for you to see my low points. ("addressing my mental illness" has more stories from my childhood.) I need to show you that my anxiety was not a piece of cake. It was not just school that freaked me out. I cried going to friends' houses, Sunday school, and at one point, I even cried going to the movie theater with my family. So, you see why I cannot agree with people who act as if anxiety is the world's biggest curse? I have story after story of anxiety making my life hard, but if I agree with what people say, I would be saying a whole lot about the way I look at my life.
("I'm thankful for my struggle because without it, I wouldn't have stumbled across my strengths." Unknown ... Yes, another picture of Bo, but look at him. This was moments before he went to go get a haircut. Look at how happy he looks.)
Anxiety is very, very hard to deal with at times. Yes. However, there are far worse things to deal with. Anxiety comes with many blessings. When I make baby steps, I am extremely proud of myself. When I look back on my life, I don't always see myself crying and holding on to my mom. I see myself laughing. I see myself having fun, and all the friends I had through the years. If you ask me about my anxiety, I will tell you my little summary, add that I am thankful for it, and then tell you how I believe that it has helped me talk about God / help others. I have had that exact conversation with many people, and every time, I say I am thankful I mean it more and more. Because once again, I was given the chance to tell someone that anxiety is not the worst thing in the world. And I got the chance to talk about how God has gotten me through each day... the good, the bad, and the ugly ones.
It is all about mindset. I have extremely hard days. I have not so good days. But you know what?? It makes me enjoy my good days just a little bit more. My days are constantly going up and down. If you read my daily journal, I would not blame you if you laughed. One day, I am all excited and happy to just be breathing, and the next, I am like "ughhh, why me?" If you struggle with a mental illness or anything similar, you are given an option. You can decide if it defines you, or you can decide if it is a part of you. Everyone deals with something. You can boo hoo all day, or you can learn to just live life with a few bumps in the road.
Last but not least... you ALL are soooo loved and appreciated! <3 <3 Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Also, please keep praying for my grandmother (heart failure + other health complications) and my cousin (recovery from a brain tumor removal).
Let's talk! I love hearing your own stories and opinions! If you have any questions / comments / concerns that you would rather not comment down below, direct message me or email me!
Instagram : Newkindofliving
Email : Newkindofliving@gmail.com
Twitter : Newkindofliving
PEACE OUT UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!
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